Rough Cut 1

Feedback

'You need an institutional logo - at least one at the start

You need at least another 30 seconds of footage

The notebook on the bench is not great

Your titles are not in the correct order - look at your research for this

The voice over is not good - there are gaps in it - will you add in non diegetic music?

The Film Title font and lavishness is bad - does not fit in with the genre

Some of the shots are out of focus and need to be filmed again

The narrative doesn't make sense - does he love him? who is it? I thought it was meant to be a gangster film - it feels like a love story at the moment.'

- Miss Peacock and Mr Bluck -

Improvements

Looking back at the opening and the feedback we received, regarding it's authenticity, there are some important changes we need to make for our next cut. For example, unfortunately on the day of our shoot the actor we planned to have in it was unable to attend and I had to step in. This meant I would then be unable to receive any marks when it came to the topic of camera and thus impacting my over all grade. Knowing this, for the next cut we will ensure there is no scheduling conflicts with our actor and that they can act in a way that conveys the character in a more enigmatic way to help better establish our genre. We will take all of our feedback from teachers, family and friends alike into consideration for our next cut to improve the overall quality of our opening and give it a more professional feel.

- Ryan Chapman -